An ode to Randy Moss

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By Nick Craddock

“A Dandy Randy Moss Haiku”

Receiver Randy;

He runs fast and catches balls.

Shame, he was lazy.


Randy Moss was largely unstoppable during his 13-year NFL career.

Defenses changed schemes because of the wide receiver and still Moss would zoom past members of the opposing secondary for a score.

His coaches tried to reign in his vivacious personality and still Moss managed to dictate how and when he was going to play, or otherwise scorn a franchise.

The NFL attempted to punish Moss through his pocketbook, but you knew Moss was still going to be able to take care of his fines with “straight cash homey.”

The end (if it really is an official retirement) of Moss’ playing days signal not only the end of an illustrious and unquestionable Hall of Fame career — in which Moss finishes as the fifth-best receiver all-time in terms of yards gained, second-best in touchdowns and eighth-best in total receptions — but a soon-to-be absence of a bravado lacking in many of the NFL’s younger and elite receivers today.

For example, the Houston Texans’ Andre Johnson, the Detroit Lions’ Calvin Johnson and the Green Bay Packers’ Greg Jennings are great on-the-field talents (still nowhere near the level of Moss during his prime, but hey), but also aren’t capable of creating off-the-field fireworks like Moss did.

For as much as Moss’ Herculean efforts on the field were lauded, they were often coupled with his careless attitude and candor which included, but was not limited to, minor fender benders with traffic cops, walking off the field before a game was concluded, and faux mooning thousands of cheeseheads at Lambeau Field.

Today, the Buffalo Bills’ Stevie Johnson and Philadelphia Eagles’ DeSean Jackson might be the most outspoken up-and-coming receivers, but they are relative amateurs compared to Moss, when it comes to letting talent circumvent boorish behavior.

For one last time Monday, it was Moss who was grabbing the headlines again — albeit in an eerily unassuming way. Maybe if he had followed his own example Monday throughout his entire career and stifled his antics just a wee bit, Moss could’ve eclipsed the records of the legendary Jerry Rice. Then again, if he hadn’t done it his way, the NFL wouldn’t have such an ostentatious personality to miss.

Hear, hear Mr. Randy Moss.

(Sidenote: I can only imagine that former Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper would sign and send this ode to Moss as a small token of his appreciation to Moss, who helped him become a very wealthy man for simply hurling a football in the receiver’s vicinity).

Stay tuned for the next edition of TheSportsKraze.


4 responses to “An ode to Randy Moss

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